Okay, here's the deal. I'm confused. Right now. At this very second. And it's totally NOT my fault (this time).

See I like this guy and I know he likes me too. How much, I'm not sure. But I do know he likes me. How you ask? well DUH because he went and held my hand. Okay well that in iteslf sounds totally insignificant but it's not, trust me. So yeah, I like him he likes me, it's all peachy right? Well too bad for me cuz life just doesn't work out that nicely.

See I like this other guy. The one I talked about in my last post. Thing is, I really truly believe I love him (but I don't really want a relationsip with him). I just don't see us as a couple and no matter how I try, it's not going to work. I can just tell.

So here's my problem. There is this guy that likes me and I like him. Neither of us really know how much just yet. I like him a lot. He's nice and funny and witty and he actually cares to listen to what I say every once in a while. And the big thing is HE LIKES ME and I don't mind. On the other hand there is this other guy that I am certain I love (not in a dating lover sorta way). "If" I ever end up dating the guy that likes me I don't know if I'll stop loving the other. But it wouldn't be fair for me to love a guy when I'm dating another. And if I choose to love the one I love than there is no hope for me for ever getting a boyfriend.

It's all sad, confusing, and useless as hell to think about. I don't really get the whole "follow your heart" thing. It confuses me to pieces so I'm going to do something else. I'm going to wait and see what happens. I know, so boring right? Well yeah it is. But then again, I can be boring if I want to. I'll try to remember to write and tell what happens if anything happens at all.